BAND OF THE WEEK: Denisa
Indonesian-born chanteuse drags her sorrows into darker corners
Last week, we talked to and about a band who had an album named ‘Catharsis’, and this week we’re going to feature an artist whose performance of her music is, in her own admission, a means of catharsis. We might be all dwelling in a pit of rampant untreated depression and endless existential anguish right now, but goddamn, does all that pain make for good art to keep appearing constantly, doesn’t it?
In the case of Denisa, an artist from Jakarta, Indonesia who has been recommended to me only a few weeks ago (the power of music recommendation is a deep and lasting one, children - use it well, and use it often!) by one of my most trusted sources of awesome music, the immediate instinct is to say that “it hasn’t always been like that”, because her previous output has been more within the elegant-pop singer/songwriter sort of category rather than the darker, more metallic path she has been treading since the release last year of her unbelievably amazing album ‘St. Bernadette’, to which we’ll get to in a minute in more detail. But the thing is, I did the deep dive into the back catalogue, as I often do when obsessing about a new musical discovery (it wasn’t that much work either, just an album and an EP), and it has to be said that, even if in a slightly different from, the darkness was already there. Her debut ‘Bloodbuzz’, released in 2021 (and already noticed by, among others, NME), is an often delicate, intimate record about a failed relationship that channels the quieter moments of Radiohead or Bon Iver, two assumed influences, but while she wasn’t taking black and white photos broodily smoking in a church back then, all that pain and persistent world-weariness was clearly present, barely contained even, just bubbling under the surface waiting for the more appropriate means of expression to let it out.
Which was perhaps why it exploded so much with the aforementioned ‘St. Bernadette’, released about a year ago. The change isn’t entirely abrupt, however. Denisa’s agile and expressive voice, somehow managing to sound eerily, ghostly distant and so intimate that it’s like it’s coming from inside yourself, all at the same time, is still at the core of these songs, but once the short a capella intro ‘The Annuler’ is over, with its repeated plea of “just let me sleep at peace tonight” still ringing ominously, things really take a no-comeback turn for the worse. In the best possible sense, naturally.
Her first line on the first proper song of the album, ‘Commandment’, is “The light at the end of the tunnel never showed up / So I settled for darkness instead”, and that really feels like a summing up of her career so far. According to interviews, the first thing that made her want to be a musician was watching a video of Avril Lavigne’s ‘Complicated’ when she was six years old. After listening to her initial steps, and now to ‘St. Bernadette’, it’s like Denisa has been searching for the light all this time (which, you know, isn’t all that long, she’s only 25), but instead found darkness to be her most welcoming home.
‘St. Bernadette’ is not a 100% doom and gloom kind of record, but it never really even tries to be upbeat either. From passages where she and her band really let their hair down and sludge-doom-metal it out like the best of them, to some more atmospheric, uneasy and uncomfortable vocal parts where the sneer and bitterness is damn near palpable in the way she sings the profound, razor-sharp lyrics (dealing mostly with the process of belief and the loss thereof), it’s quite a pit to fall into. Vague comparisons to the murkier moments of Emma Ruth Rundle or even Chelsea Wolfe could be drawn, but I’m afraid most of these would really just be based on the “it’s also a woman going through her bad emotions” kind of perspective, and no one really needs any more of that. Let’s just take Denisa for who she is, as she is displaying a remarkable level of unique personality and artistic daring for such a young artist.
She has a recently created Substack that I recommend reading if you want to peek a little more into her world, and it’ll be even more obvious from it that she really does have a knack for the written word. She isn’t on Bandcamp, but YouTube has a nifty little playlist with all the songs on the album in order, so here you go, just click below. My favourite, by the way, is ‘Wasteland’, and I’ve been happily chirping away the line “Did you wish you could leave them in hell?” throughout my day ever since I listened to it.
Denisa was kind enough to grant us an interview (thank you!) with some thoughts on ‘St. Bernadette’ and her career so far, and a few updates on what she’s up to now, so be sure to read all of it after the jump. She’s even got a few recommendations of a few other Indonesian heavy artists, so pay attention and follow up on those names, they’re worth it!
You can find Denisa on Instagram and Spotify.
‘St. Bernatte’ is out now via Mass Of Den. Deathwish Inc. is reissuing it on vinyl soon.
“Being a girl in her twenties is wild, there’s so much anger and sadness to write about and I felt that pop couldn’t amplify the writings that I had.”
— Denisa
Would you like to briefly introduce yourself and the music you do, for the benefit of our readers who might just now be coming in contact with you?
Denisa: Hi! Denisa here. I’m a soloist from Jakarta, Indonesia, and lately I’ve been diving into genres such as doom metal and alternative rock. With all the sludgy guitars and heavy drums, I still play around with a pop sensibility and approach to my singing and song structures. Basically, I like a lot of stuff, so my music is a melting pot of all the references I’ve accumulated over the past decade. I’m based in Jakarta, living a musician and 9 to 5 life. It feels like a double life.
It’s recently been a full year since the release of the ‘St. Bernadette’ album – how do you look at it now, with the hindsight of this time that has passed? It seems set to become a decisive point in your musical career.
Denisa: ‘St. Bernadette’ will always feel like a child that I’ve raised. I had no idea it would get the recognition that it’s getting, and I am so grateful for that. I’d say it took a bit of time for people here to digest, because it was such a sudden change of genre. But nonetheless, this album made me whole and has driven me into this revelation of who I really am. It’s crazy to think that it’s been a year. People have no idea how much this record has given me confidence and self-belief.
Is it possible that the album will get any kind of reissue, to be available on a wider market with greater possibilities of exposition?
Denisa: Yes! A vinyl issue is on its way in the US, and I hope it's coming really soon. This year has been focused on expanding my listeners outside of Asia.
[TDM: since we had this chat, it has been announced that Denisa has signed with Deathwish Inc.]
After having listened to your debut EP ‘Crowning’ and 2021’s ‘Bloodbuzz’, it feels like the whole outlook of your music, lyrics and imagery included of course, is getting darker and heavier at each step, would you agree? How do you perceive this evolution, can you pinpoint any reasons for this sort of trajectory? Is it a matter of musical influences shifting, or also a reflection of your feelings and state of mind?
Denisa: I grew up with mainly pop influences, and for the longest time, I’ve always thought that that’s the only genre I could excel in. Doom, black metal, and genres in between were introduced very late to me, I’d say in my early twenties. I’ve always admired these darker genres, but had no clue where to start at first. The music got darker because I just felt like that resonated with what I was going through in life. Being a girl in her twenties is wild, there’s so much anger and sadness to write about and I felt that pop couldn’t amplify the writings that I had at the time. Fortunately the friends I have are deep-diven in genres that I was aiming for, so it just made sense to learn from them and make music with them.
Would you like to talk a little bit about the overall concept(s) you deal with on ‘St Bernadette’? The process of belief, and religion at large, for instance, seem to play a decisive role in what you sing about – the album cover is naturally a giveaway, but it’s a theme that seems present throughout the whole album.
Denisa: ‘St. Bernadette’ pictures a memorial. Starts at birth, then being a rotten kid to a filthy adolescent, the crud of falling in love, clawing the sickening paths of filling the cavity, cheating death, accepting failing death, and becoming fearless of the afterlife- all in one memorandum. All these stages of life are wrapped in one thing- religion. Growing up in a strict, mentally draining church did wonders for my writing. But also it resulted in this weird relationship with belief that I am still struggling with now. ‘St. Bernadette’ portrays that silent but back and forth relationship, blaming God for the hardships of life and then pleading for help when you’re at the brink.
Do you have any favourite songs on the album? Or to remove the weight of the word “favourite”, any song that means something just a little bit different to you, for any reason?
Denisa: This is a tough one.. if I had to pick my top 3, it would be ‘Bloodbath’, ‘Request for Penance’, and ‘This is a song about revelation’. The heavier stuff on the album. ‘Bloodbath’ is probably my favorite, it’s so special to me because of how emotional it is, especially the last bit of lyrics. These 3 picks sort of tie together. ‘Bloodbath’ is about giving up on belief, and just wanting to be a good person doing the right thing. ‘Request for Penance’ tells the story about Bernadette of Lourdes, how she visioned the Immaculate Conception and how she viewed penance. This was an interesting one to write because I couldn’t tell if I was writing from her point of view or mine. Maybe it's both, intertwined. ‘This is a song about revelation’ is the rowdiest of them all. It’s about losing all hope in religion, and your world just falling apart, blaming anything you can blame. This was probably the trickiest song in vocal productions, cause there was so much to say.
Performing is a means of catharsis for me, it’s like an explosion, sort of like, this is what happens if you haven’t been to therapy for years.
Though I’ve only seen videos, your live shows seem to be extraordinarily intense. Can you distance yourself enough, or is it actually a sort of catharsis for you to perform these songs on stage?
Denisa: I loved that you used the word ‘intense’. It really does feel intense! Truth to be told, I am a different person offstage. I get these comments a lot, something along the lines of “you are such a calm person” and “I didn’t expect your personality to be like this”. On stage I am the most expressive, angry, and bratty person I know. Offstage I am painfully quiet and observant. I can say that performing is a means of catharsis for me, it’s like an explosion, sort of like, this is what happens if you haven’t been to therapy for years. You find things to explode at. Just glad that it's through a healthy way, haha.
I have to confess my ignorance about most of the heavy music scene from Indonesia, would you like to talk a little bit about that? From what I’ve seen, you frequently collaborate with other artists and you are very active in your scene. What other artists from there would you like to recommend, either peers or influences of yours?
Denisa: Good question, please let me have this moment to brag about my wonderful and talented friends. Please listen to Morgensoll, Pelteras, Enola and Avhath. I’d say we are in one pool of music, and we are all very active in collaborating. This pool we are in is immaculate. It’s a supportive, wholesome community. This weekend I’m about to tour with Morgensoll and Pelteras, and I’m just beyond excited that I have this group of friends that I can learn and grow with. As for the heavy music scene.. It’s a constant growth here. From older, metal bands to younger uprising experimental bands, there is always something fresh and new that they bring to the table.
Is there anything in your music, the way you feel and write and perform it, that you would consider inherently Indonesian?
Denisa: I wouldn’t say so. I’m guilty of not being in touch with my culture, and I guess that’s because I didn’t grow up here. That’s why my music is in English, my brain speaks and thinks in English too.
Since it’s been a year, where are you in the process of following up ‘St. Bernadette’? Do you think it will be a tough piece to follow up, or maybe do you already have some songs for the next step? I read in your wonderful new Substack that “it feels like I have five Dobermans barking nonstop in my brain”, so maybe? [laughs]
Denisa: I am in the process of writing my new album! Currently, I am working with a different producer, and I’m curious on how the new album would feel and look like. I’d say it’s going to be tough because I don’t know what else to write about other than depression and other untreated mental illnesses. I sort of want to keep the religious trauma aspect but I don’t want to dwell on that too much, you know? My life is suspiciously going well, and that’s good, but to me that means there’s almost nothing to write about.
I noticed you are handled by Swamp Booking, so is it possible we might see you performing live somewhere in Europe soon?
Denisa: We’re definitely working on planning a tour. There’s one specific festival that I’m desperately aiming for, and it would be a dream come true to play there. So yes, there’s a chance for a European Tour in 2025!
